Before the BOOM

Ok so before we go into that day any further.. lets rewind... ALOT! 

I was in fourth grade when I got out of foster care. Foster care was HELL far worse than I ever remembered my home life to be. Those people were terrible! In 3rd grade I was washing my own dishes and laundry to earn tickets to buy my happy meal toys and Halloween candy. WHO DOES THAT?! If a child eats their happy mean it is common law they get the toy.. The rule is not nor has it ever been eat your happy mean and do your dishes and laundry for a week to receive your toy!!

Anyway so I'm like 9 years old and I'm starting school at David T Wilson. I'm a nervous wreck because... Well because I'm always a nervous wreck.. always have been. Since I was young I can remember mom introducing me to people as her "worry wart". I remember her constantly telling me to "worry about kid stuff" and let her tend to the adult issues.. 

One of the first people I met in Ms. Kelly's class was Christen Speaks. Little did I know this girl would be one of two people that got me through elementary school and middle school. Childhood was not easy for me. I don't remember it being awful until after foster care, but counselors say I may have blocked a lot of it out. That is common in children of trauma. Also I can remember in foster care constantly telling myself it was all just a dream and I was going to wake up in my room in my bed like normal. I had two good friends starting in elementary school Libby and Christen. If it was a vacation from school or weekend that I wasn't at my Nana's and PawPaw's house I was usually at one of these two girl's houses. It was so odd we were all such great, close friends. However, we couldn't all be best friends at the same time it was always me and Christen OR her and Libby OR me and Libby.

Anyways... Christen had an older brother... Cory... My gawd.. he was athletic, a "bad" boy with a smart mouth! He was quick witted and always had something sharp to say. He wasn't just an asshole though.. he was a goof on top.. He could make someone feel like complete dog shit and in the same breath turn around and make them laugh til they pissed their pants.. He was tall and built like crash bandicoot! Shoulders so broad make him look like he had chicken legs! But them deep brown eyes you could tell he been through some shit.. He was raised to be strong.. Emotionally and physically. He was conditioned for a tough life because the struggle was his coach.. No dad in the picture he was the man of the house. After his pawpaw passed he tried to balance being the man of the family and making pawpaw proud with the life of mischief and the tough persona he worked so hard on.. 

I annoyed Christen as we got older into middle school when I would be planning tocome stay.. I'd ask if Cory would be there and I could see it in her face it was a bad idea to dance with if I intended on keeping my friend.. Nothing ever came of me and Cory. Christen got pregnant in high school and our relationship got strained and eventually it was non existent..  I didn't even think he knew that I existed... But come to find out years later we were reunited and HE made the first move..